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by Tyrux



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Gender-Neutral Chara (Undertale), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-27 18:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20764877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyrux/pseuds/Tyrux
Summary: "Can you hear me? We want you to wake up..."The will to keep living..."You can't give up! You are the future of humans and monsters..."The resolve to change fate."Chara... Please... Wake up... I don't like this plan anymore."Despite everything, you're filled with DETERMINATION.Not that you want it.





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**Author's Note:**

> Heed the tags.

You take a breath. Smells like flowers.

"-do not "Tori" me, Asgore!"

They're fighting.

_"You deal with the little demon then, I'm DONE."_

They're fighting _again._

"Sshh..." you croak out weakly. "You're going to make Asriel cry."

All at once, the voices fall silent.

Shit. You shouldn't have done that. Talking back is bad.

A thousand excuses flood through your mind in seconds, _I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry, I'll be good, I can... I can..._

You try to curl in on yourself, instinctively, but all it does is reacquaint yourself with how much everything _aches_.

The effort is far too much, and darkness envelops you.

* * *

You wake up, and the first thing you notice is how little everything hurts.

Sure, your throat is a bit dry, and your bones are a bit sore... but it's not real pain. It's not _dying_.

You think you're probably supposed to feel relieved, but all you've got is a sort of cold, empty feeling. How long have you been asleep? Did the poison start to wear off, or has someone found a way to cure it?

Your eyes slowly blink open. Still in your room, lights dimmed. You clumsily feel your way down the side of the mattress, reaching your arm into the little nook you'd carved with your knife.

No flowers. Not even a petal. You aren't feeling very weak, so you could probably get up and collect more yourself. Maybe if they see you up and about they'll stop whatever they're doing. Then you can gorge yourself... and hope you're gone before they notice anything. Yeah. That's a good plan.

Asriel always says yours are the best, and with the constant sincerity he oozes through his every action it's hard to doubt him. Even if you don't deserve the praise.

Regardless, none of them will have to worry much longer.

The door creaks open, and you hurriedly make to wrench your hand back under the sheets and slam your eyes shut. Heavy, yet soft footsteps echo through the air, before coming to a stop just next to your bed. Mom, then.

She doesn't seem to be talking, just watching over you. You don't think you're quite breathing right, but it must be adequate enough to convince her. Ideally you'd like to grill her for information, but that carries too many risks. Getting up now seems about the same, so it's off to Plan B.

You break out your best yawn, and shift under the covers a bit before glancing up at her.

"Hey mom," you manage to rasp. You reach a hand to your neck, doing your best to clear your throat and start again. She's sitting in a chair next to your nightstand, just looking at you. Staring past her for a moment, you note that his bed is ruffled and empty. As soon as you make eye contact, she goes very still.

"Can you uh... can you send Asriel in here? I need..." _to die quicker so I stop destroying everything I love._

You cough.

"I just need him."

She makes a little noise, and for a moment you think it might be a giggle. You scrunch up your face a bit - you don't _think _you made a pun.

She wraps both her arms around you and buries her face into your chest.

She's sobbing.

She's sobbing _hard._

You sort of freeze up, because _how do you handle this situation?_ Mom never cries. Azzy is easy, you give him a hug or tell a bad joke, let him use your favorite crayon or _pull and tug every string until he's ready to help his best friend off themself. _Not that it matters, you've followed this line of self-dialogue to its conclusion before.

Angels are better off without demons.

Still.

Mom _never_ cries.

She's stern, and kind, and filled with a frankly difficult to believe amount of love. She puts on a brave face, which in a house full of crybabies is a bit of a necessity. Plus, she hugged you without asking. You don't really _care__,_ the Dreemurr's are your family now and you've come to appreciate physical contact from them the same way they do. Still, she always _always_ asks, and honestly the amount of care she puts into her every action just makes you love her more.

You half-expect Dad to burst through the door, proudly declaring that he has renamed the capital _"-Hiraeth, after the human concept of longing for home. It represents both our desire to one day see the surface, as well as our joy in finding new safety beyond the confines of the Ruins."_

You giggle a little, and you realize she's pulled herself together enough to look at you with concern.

Huh. Blank-faced stare before laughing out of the blue... not exactly a good look in your case. You start to force a smile, before realizing that's _really_ not a good sign to the outside observer in your case.

You settle for gripping her wrist softly and smoothing out your features. "I'm good."

She lets out a shaky breath, then sucks in a sob. It's great and terrible - the sort of noise that belongs to a dragon, not goat mom. Though, if the teeth and fire magic are anything to go off of, maybe it's more fitting than you assumed.

"Chara," she begins in a very small voice. "I am just... so glad, to see you are well."

"I'm feeling a lot better, so... I guess I'm glad too." you lie through your teeth.

"Chara."

The gravity in her voice reminds you of the gravity of the situation. She wouldn't break down like this over something like you. She's starting to break out the mom-voice though, could she have... no way. You'd taken careful measures _(though not much joy, in burning documents and books)_. No one had recognized the symptoms, so the only way would be... no.

Asriel would never betray you.

"Mom?" your murmur, hesitantly.

"Chara," she begins again. "Do you... do you remember anything?"

You really don't like this line of questioning. You need... you don't know what you need. Air. Flowers. You need the flowers.

"I'm not sure what you mean, but I really need to talk to Azz-"

_"I hate them Azzy, I HATE THEM."_

_"They're evil. We're going to make the world a better place."_

_"We can't do this, Chara, we can't... I can't..."_

_"Okay, you know what, fine, you're right. We just need six, so just give me your arm and-"_

_"Asriel Dreemurr, you put me down right now, I'm slowing us down, we need to..."_

_"THEY'RE KILLING US, ASRIEL!"_

_Your dust spreads across the garden. A final hiss of breath escapes through your muzzle._

_"You IDIOT."_

Toriel is holding you tight. You can't feel her. Something bubbles up from deep inside you, sick and twisted like the rest of it.

Now you're _really_ laughing, and with a smile to light up the whole Underground, too!

_I killed him._

_I killed him._

_I killed him._

**Author's Note:**

> This uh... isn't a very happy tale. Still, the idea popped into my head and I really wanted to get it out there before I was stewing on it for too long. My other story that Reboot is a part of is still in progress, and I can absolutely promise a happier ending there because Undertale's good ending is sad enough.
> 
> Anyways, I have a few more scenes for this timeline in mind.


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